Starting A New Relationship

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Launching into a new relationship can be exciting and scary in equal measure. Learning to trust a new person with our heart takes a great leap of faith and is not something to do without careful thought and consideration. That said, careful thought and consideration are not often present at the beginning of a new relationship – when analytical discussion is usually discarded in favour of passion!

I am not going to sugar coat it. Starting a new relationship is not easy. There will be times when you wonder why you bothered. But there will also be times when you are so pleased you did. Love makes the world go round, and everybody deserves a bit of it in their lives.


So, let's get started.

 Love yourself 

First of all it is important to feel as good about yourself as possible. If you have come out of a relationship feeling hurt and bruised, you may have some confidence issues. Ask yourself if you are really ready to throw yourself in at the deep end again.

If the answer is yes, why not treat yourself to a pampering session for some rejuvenating therapies? Feel good anti-ageing treatments and a glamorous new hairstyle will make you feel a million dollars and give you that extra edge you need to cut it in the world of dating. But remember, you are prettifying yourself for your own pleasure, nobody else.

What sort of a relationship do you want?

No doubt this will be influenced by past experience. If your last relationship was stormy and claustrophobic, recognise it for what it was. Be wary of repeating past behaviours. It sounds nuts, but it is often true that we fall into patterns with our relationships. Being self aware is very important.

Be honest about what you do and don't want out of a relationship and then be very strict with yourself about not accepting anything less. Perhaps you want something a lot more relaxed and free? Remember, you are the author of your own story and only you can decide how it turns out.

It's complicated

If there are children in the picture, things can get a little complicated. The dynamic gets a whole lot more complex and you have to manage the sensitive feelings and expectations of a host of people. Take things very slowly. Follow your gut instinct and be kind to yourself as well. Sometimes we just have to take a chance, but the risks should always be calculated.

Look in the right places

Finding a new partner requires tenacity, good luck and a bit of ingenuity. Yes, it is entirely possible to source a new partner on the internet these days, and many do. There are hundreds of internet dating websites catering to a wide variety of niche markets. Alternatively, seek out areas where single people might congregate such as dance classes, church, activities clubs etc.

Singles evenings at nightclubs and pubs can be worth a try as well as singles holidays and supper clubs. A shared interest is a great base on which to start building a new relationship, so why not make things easier for yourself?

Love in slow motion

Once you have found somebody you think may be 'a keeper', take things slowly. Introduce them to your family and friends and see how they get on. Do they cope well with being interrogated by your best friend, for example? How are they with the kids? Are they polite to your Mum? What are their friends like? What about their family? Are you comfortable with them? Keep your eyes open and remain alert.

Avoid having s*x with each other for as long as possible, get to know one another well before making that step. Research states that around 85 per cent of couples wait at least thirty days before getting it on between the sheets. Once s*x is involved the whole picture can begin to get even more complicated and difficult to fathom, so just beware.

Being in a happy, loving relationship is something everybody deserves. However, once you've been hurt or have lost a loved one, stepping back onto the dating merry go round can be really daunting. For your best chances of success, take things slowly, accept the support of your friends and family and be honest about what you want. Happy hunting!

Chris Jenkinson is a UK based marketing consultant writing for Abingdon Beauty Treatments Qutis Clinic http://abingdon.qutisclinics.co.uk/